Two funny words

Over the past days or weeks, I’ve heard a couple of funny words that I’d like to share with you. If I offend, then I apologize in advance.

“Muffin Top” – At first this word confused me. Rather it’s usage confused me. I’ve seen the Seinfeld episode about muffin tops. It’s generally accepted that the muffin top part of the muffin is the better part of the muffin. Katrina only buys the muffin tops. However, the way I’ve heard is used here is different. A Muffin Top is the name of the roll of fat that can be seen when a woman wears her pants tight, and also wears a tight shirt. The roll of fat sticks out over the top of her pants, and can clearly be seen due to the tightness of her shirt, and the roll looks remarkably like the top of a muffin sticking out over the edge of the cylindrical portion of the muffin.

Let me also say that men DO NOT use this word in conversation. It is 98% exclusive to women talking to other women about other women. “Did you see that shirt she was wearing?” “That girl needs to put on something different and put down that sandwich. That Muffin Top is sick!”

The second word is “Manscaping” – As soon as I heard it used in context I knew what they meant. Manscaping has nothing to go with actual gardening, or taking care of the grass, trees, and hedges, and mulch around your house. However, the guy taking care of all that stuff, might also have manscaping done. Manscaping is the term used for when men have their body hair (arm, leg, back, chest, whatever) cut, trimmed, shaved, or sculpted. Generally manscaping is done for mostly aesthetic reasons. Maybe they want to get rid of that unsightly back hair. Or have a perfectly trimmed Magnum P.I. (Tom Selleck circa 1986) chest hair cut.



This word can be used by either men or women.

Woman – “Did you know that spa around the corner also does manscaping? Take care of your back.”

Or a man, “I walked in on my roommate while he was manscaping himself.”
“You mean...?”
“Yeah.”
“Dude... Sorry.”

And now for something completely different.

It’s getting hot here. It’s supposed to be in the eighties all week long. Then the wind blows, it’s just hot wind. It’s not pleasant at all. We also have been invaded by flies. Lots of flies. And we have two types of flies. The first type is the standard smallish fly that just buzzes around and tries to land in your food and ruin your picnic. The second type is the big, black, hairy fly that sounds like a little airplane. The kind of fly that Tuffy used to catch on the screen and eat.

But the big flies that we have here are fearless.

When we were at the gym today I was on my back with a weight right over my face and one of these big flied landed right on my nose. I was huffing and trying to blow that damn thing off and I’m glad that I had Keith spotting me because he saw the fly and was ready to grab the weight out of my hand before I hurt myself. I’m not sure where all these flies came from all of a sudden. It was just like one day they were here.

I had a ‘eureka’ moment this evening about one of the projects that I’m working on that’s been bothering me. It’s one of the bigger projects that I’ve got on my place, but it’s not a hot priority. So I’ve been ignoring it. But when I was on the elliptical after work, I must have been thinking about it sub-consciously because the answer just popped into my head about how to take it apart and put rearrange it so it made sense to me and everyone else. The engineers that put this project together didn’t give me much to work with. It’s like trying to describe how to drive a car by explaining what each part does rather than focusing on the gas, break, and the steering wheel. I don’t need to know HOW the dual-overhead cam works. And neither does most of the customers. Anyway, I think I can get that project off of my desk in two days now.

And it’s time for me to wrap this up as well.